Growing Friendships: Connecting More Deeply With Those Who Matter Most

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I really like the idea of reading through it as a family.

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That has ti be time well shared. Lori, people like you who refuse to surrender themselves to the control of Facebook, Twitter and similar others are to be commended. Now to find people who want to "talk. Your remarks on Foth's views on the communication in our culture in the second paragraph was spot on. I've written on those same thoughts. I would love to read this book, though I think it would be preaching to the choir, but we can all learn from another's perspective even if it is similar to our own.

I don't use social media hardly at all anymore. Once in awhile I peek in on family. I never ever have cared about the number followers or friends here on HP or FB. I value relationships highly and am disappointed at people's fall into impersonal technological communication.

Best Friendship Quotes On The Power Of Real Friends

People don't want want to. Manatita, thanks for the Mothers Day wishes, and for your suggestions.


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I'm enjoying the day with my grandchildren. Thanks, Mary. After reading this book I've decided to tell and listen to more stories think. You're right about the connection it can create. Their reactions are varied -- some might chuckle or bristle at the language, while others may push back on the relevance of the item. The simple answer is performance. Our research has repeatedly shown a concrete link between having a best friend at work and the amount of effort employees expend in their job.

However, let's put the science aside for one moment and look more holistically at what's happening in the workforce. We now live and work in an era where many employees expect their job to be more than a paycheck. The paycheck still matters, of course, but employees seek out and stay with organizations that have exceptional workplace cultures. And while there are numerous components of these cultures, they are often characterized by overall feelings of trust, belongingness and inclusion. We spend more of our waking hours at work than at home, and it's only natural that we want to build connections with our team members.

We want work to feel worthwhile and having trusted confidants and supporters helps foster that feeling. We go to our work friends when we need to celebrate and commiserate about our personal and professional lives.


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  • In the absence of that outlet, work can seem lonely and isolating. It lacks attachments. We may like what we do, we may get to use our talents and strengths every day, but we're probably not feeling fully energized or motivated to put our whole selves into our roles. In the U.

    Getting Serious About Adult Friendships | Psychology Today

    This development points back to numerous factors, including a widening skills gap and a loss of middle-class jobs. However, there is also a cultural component to labor force losses, especially when it comes to a specific group -- working mothers. Many women who have children at home have decided that a traditional job no longer makes sense for them. It's not that they don't want to work, but corporate policies and systems make work impractical, if not unappealing for them.

    Why spend plus hours away from your family every week just to lose the majority of your paycheck to childcare? Mothers have to weigh the pros and cons of working. Even those who truly enjoy their jobs can find it challenging to justify the time and sacrifice required to "make it" in many corporate cultures. This puts the onus on leaders to make it easier for working mothers to say "yes" to staying in the workforce.

    Organizations that want to realize the benefits of a gender-diverse workforce are being tasked with finding ways to attract and retain women at all stages of life. Their strategies have to account for pay, promotion and performance management, but they must also account for culture including how they enable women to lead better lives. For most women, that includes having friendships at work.

    In our Women in America: Work and Life Well-Lived report, Gallup found that two-thirds of women say the social aspect of a job is a "major reason" why they work. But it can be difficult for women to make connections at work.

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    Work can diminish a woman's ability to live what feels like a well-rounded and purposeful existence. When given a choice or if forced to make a choice, it's not surprising that an increasing number of women are saying goodbye to the labor force. Realistically, there are still leaders who will dismiss the talk about what women want most in a job and bring the conversation back to numbers and performance. They want proof that the best friend item actually impacts their bottom line.

    Truth be told, Gallup wouldn't have included the item in our employee engagement survey if it didn't link to improved business outcomes.

    How to Be a Better Friend

    We've consistently found that for women and men having a best friend at work leads to better performance. For example, our employee engagement database shows that a mere two out of 10 U. Take the quiz! She wonders if the connection might become apparent as her subjects get older and have more age-related health problems.

    Jill Suttie, Psy.

    Become a subscribing member today. Scroll To Top When it comes to hanging out with our friends, should we aim for quality or quantity time spent together? Though the logistical nature of planning might feel a little taxing, the payoff occurs in the looking-forward-to-it factor. If an in-person meeting isn't in the cards, even a plan to catch up by phone or video-conferencing — in real time, after all — can give your relationship a little spark and boost positive feelings for each other. Yes, dozens of thank-you notes for wedding gifts can come to feel like something of a chore, but writing a thank-you note about something more unexpected can bring quite a boost.

    Friendship: The Social Health of Friends | Time

    Did your friend help you out of a jam? Did they lift your spirits when you were down? Did they inspire you to be better in some way? Did they give you the benefit of the doubt when others did not? What a special surprise to get even a handwritten postcard.

    Guide to Maintaining Friendships

    Decluttering, starting a new workout, cooking more meals from home — whatever your goal, it can sometimes be extra motivating for a friend to be in on it. Tell your friend about something new in your life that they may not know about. News is almost always more interesting to talk about than the same-old, same-old routine. Is there something unexpected going on for you — for better or for worse — that has impacted you lately? Does it seem too taxing or even too trivial to talk about?

    If it's important to you, then it can be important that your friend knows it — so that they can empathize, advise, or just commiserate. It's yet another opportunity to connect and let them see your perspective, getting to know you more deeply in the process. Try to recall your last conversation, and vow to follow up on something specific from it the next time you communicate.

    Of course, it's not helpful just to pepper your friend or conversation partner with questions. The follow-up is even more important, letting people know not only that you thought to ask, but that you listened to and remembered their answer. Best of all, it gives your conversations depth and continuity, which differentiates the "Tough weather we're having, huh? What have you found to be a boost to your own friendship?

    Let me know in the comments, or in my weekly anonymous chat. Andrea Bonior, Ph. She teaches at Georgetown University. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together.

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